“Pregnant and Don’t Want the Baby”: Should You Choose Adoption?

 

An unplanned pregnancy often causes a sudden rush of emotions and questions — usually all related to what to do next. You may be surprised at the thoughts that come into your head — especially if your first thought is, “I don’t want my baby.”

Those five little words are difficult for most women to accept. Some might feel guilty, while others may feel ashamed. Regardless of your emotions, remember this: If you’re thinking, “I’m pregnant but don’t want the baby,” this is completely normal. Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s all part of the process of deciding which path is best for you.

So, if you’re pregnant and don’t want the baby, what can you do?

Here at Thompson Dove Law Group, we recommend taking some time to self-reflect and discuss these feelings with loved ones and possibly even a counselor. It’s important to consider whether today’s feelings will carry over to tomorrow and into the future — or whether they will pass as your own life situation changes over time.

Perhaps you aren’t ready to be a mother today, but you could be in the future. Maybe you know your child would be better off with an adoptive family. These are decisions only you can make.

If you want to talk to a professional, you can always call or text our social workers at 864-680-8038. They can help you evaluate your feelings about pregnancy, motherhood and adoption to help you make the best decision for your situation.

I’m Pregnant and Don’t Want the Baby: What Now?

An unplanned pregnancy can cause you to panic, but it’s crucial that you don’t rush into any decisions right now. Take a deep breath and think. Which of your unplanned pregnancy options is right for you?

If you are pregnant and don’t want the baby, there are probably a few extenuating circumstances in your life. Here are a few things to think about:

1. Consider Your Finances

These days, times are tough for many people — and especially for people who have a baby on the way.

Because your pregnancy was unexpected, you likely haven’t been preparing financially for the addition of a new family member. The weight of this news combined with an unsteady financial situation can cause a wave of anxiety.

If you’re thinking, “I don’t want this baby,” is it because of deep-seated desires not to be a parent — or simply because you can’t afford a child right now?

There’s no shame in either situation but, if you are considering abortion or adoption because of finances, remember this:

1. There is help out there for women in your situation, like Medicaid and WIC. Your local pregnancy center can also provide resources and support if you choose to parent your baby.
2. Finances can improve over time.

If you don’t want your baby because you are worried about finances, please keep in mind that there have been plenty of mothers without solid financial situations who’ve successfully raised children. With a little help, you can, too.

Finances can change, but your decision of placing your child for adoption cannot be changed. However, if you choose this path, you can receive financial assistance for your pregnancy expenses. Contact our firm to learn more about this adoption benefit.

2. Can You Provide a Two-Parent Household?

Those who dream of one day raising children often want to do it with a loving and supportive spouse. Unfortunately, pregnancies don’t always occur between couples who are in it for the long haul. Indeed, it’s quite common for the father of the child to either be unsupportive, uninvolved or even unknown.

Maybe you find yourself thinking, “I don’t want my baby because I don’t want to be a single parent.” You’re not alone in wanting a two-parent household for your child. Single parenting is hard, and maybe it’s not the path you want for yourself.

However, remember how many single mothers have successfully raised children; remember how many well-respected people like actors, athletes, musicians and community leaders are the products of single-parent homes; and lastly, remember that just because the father of your child may be out of the picture, that doesn’t necessarily mean your child won’t one day have a father figure in his or her life.

Single parenting will require some work, but it is possible. However, if you want to ensure your child has a two-parent household from the start, you might choose to find an adoptive family who can provide the stability you’re looking for.

3. What are Your Personal Goals?

If you are pregnant and don’t want to be, it may be because you have other plans for your life right now. Maybe it’s finishing school, beginning a career or finding that special someone. And it’s no secret that raising a child may make those goals more difficult.

Raising a child requires a great deal of time and effort. This can be challenging enough for parents who’ve been planning for years to have children, but of course it’s often more difficult if you weren’t expecting to be pregnant.

There’s no shame in putting off parenting to pursue your personal goals. Adoption may provide you the opportunity to move forward with your life and career, especially if you are currently pregnant and don’t want the baby.

However, remember that many life goals will also always be waiting there for you. If you dream of finishing school or leading a successful career, you can still achieve those dreams as a mother. It just may take a little bit more time than you planned.

“I Don’t Want My Baby”: Is Adoption Right for You?

Thoughts of not wanting your baby are not ones to take lightly. If you are questioning whether you are ready to be a mother, we suggest talking to trusted family members and friends. You can even speak with one of our adoption counselors today for more information — with absolutely no obligation to pursue adoption unless you’re sure it’s right for you.

While you are figuring out what unplanned pregnancy option is best for you, we can also help you attain private counseling with a licensed therapist to allow some extra support during this time.

We know these feelings are scary. It’s important to determine where they are coming from. Are they because you feel adoption is your best option or because you are simply feeling scared about the uncertainty that lies ahead? Whatever reason you are thinking “I’m pregnant and I don’t want it,” we’re here to help.

We look forward to helping you in any way we can during this important time in your life. Contact us today at 864-680-8038.