The first of many big hurdles that comes with adoption is that of matching. You find a couple, and now you wait patiently and excitedly to meet your child. But what happens in the meantime? Building a strong relationship with the couple you’ve matched with is an important step in the adoption process, and here are just a few tips to help do so.
First and foremost, be yourself. When building a lifelong relationship with someone, being real and being yourself is incredibly important. It helps develop a sense of trust and allows you to truly know one another.
Another thing to remember is that your matched couple is just as nervous and worried as you are. They worry they won’t be good enough, and they, too, are opening their hearts not totally sure of what the outcome might be.
It is also necessary to talk about the hard stuff and the scary stuff in order to build a successful relationship. Whether it’s discussing a birth plan, naming your child, or even your religious views, the earlier you can talk about these things, the better. It will give you a better understanding of one another as well as how you’ll raise your child.
You must also figure out what “open adoption” means to both of you. Make sure you both have an understanding of what the other has in mind and expects from your relationship as well as the relationship with your child. Talk about agreements and disagreements, and work out any problems for the sake of your child, who will need love and support from both sets of parents.
Lastly, do not force the relationship with your matched couple. Allow your relationship to develop naturally by being yourself, being open, and learning about each other. The steps above will help the relationship progress on its own. You both want to love and provide for a child with everything he or she may want or need. Always remember that you are in this for the same reason, and you are in it together.
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