Kudos to Cosmopolitan for their incredible article What It’s Really Like to Place Your Baby For Adoption. It is important for all expectant mothers and families looking to adopt to know that every family is different and no two stories are the same. Cosmopolitan interviewed four birth mothers who placed their child for adoption and asked them a series of questions about their experience.
In the interview these women discuss all the important decisions that lead up to adoption; what made them decide to place their baby for adoption, the involvement of the birth father, how they chose their adoptive family, and life after placing their child for adoption. However, what struck us about this article was the reality of the process and what you may not find in an adoption brochure. One woman confesses her original feelings about the process, “Everyone says how selfless you are when you place a child for adoption, but I felt very selfish for choosing to make an adoption plan because I felt like I was putting my future over my child’s, but I knew he would have a better chance if he had parents who were ready for him.” Adoption is a monumental, life-changing decision. We think it is crucial for expectant mothers to know that their worries and fears are normal and that they should not feel ashamed to be scared. One woman from the interview expressed her fear of how placing her daughter for adoption would affect her family, “I was afraid that my birth daughter would hate me for placing her for adoption and would wonder why I placed her and not my son. I was afraid that I would be shamed by others for choosing adoption. I was afraid that my son would hate me for placing his sister for adoption.” But in our many years of experience at Thompson Dove Law Group, although we hear of women having this fear often, this is not the case.
This article is important for anyone involved or thinking of getting involved in the adoption process. For adoptive families, these women talk about what they were looking for and how they chose the family with which they intrusted their baby. Choosing the family to raise your child can seem like an impossible task, but more often than not, finding the perfect family for your child leaves birth parents reassured that they were making the right decision. “They were a beautiful couple that radiated love and happiness, and they seemed so perfect! I read their story and their biography, and I felt connected to them. I wanted to help build their family.”
Adoption is a beautiful process that, like every big moment in life, comes with hard, not-so-beautiful decisions and realizations. Cosmopolitan does a fantastic job highlighting the raw emotions of all four women and addressing the harder questions for birth mothers. This interview is a must-read for all parties involved or curious about adoption.