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We're so thankful to share these words from Shelley today what she's learned since choosing open adoption for her son almost four years ago.![]()
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"My son is 3, turning 4 in March. There are many things I have learned about myself and open adoption. Merging two families can be difficult, always changing, but forever worth it for your child. The pain never goes away or ceases. In the beginning I thought the pain I felt would eventually subside, but not raising my son and giving that opportunity to another family still makes my heart ache, just as much as it did in 2016. Not being called mom by your son can hurt. I now realize it will always be painful, but I know having an open adoption and supportive adoptive parents makes for happy moments. I’ve learned you have to live in the moment. When you visit your child, you have to be completely present, not thinking about what-ifs. You need to be free to express your love towards him. But the pain, the pain never goes away and you will think of your child everyday, wondering what he is doing at that moment. But I have learned that love can unite strangers and family is how you define it. An open adoption is a vulnerable adoption, but it was the best choice for my family. And yes, I am a mommy to a handsome, fun- loving 3 year old little boy." (Shelley, first mom)![]()
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We asked several birthmothers who we know to write for us during this month celebrating motherhood. Our goal is to celebrate and educate and we'd love to share your stories here, too. Send us a message to be featured.
